While surfers surf and children dip toes in the whitewater of the August ocean, a Nazi sympathizer takes a cue from ISIS and murders a peaceful protester with his vehicle.
Truckers drive cross-country, those same children sleep, and the President dares a sovereign enemy to declare nuclear war.
The enemy announces its intentions to bomb Guam and the EPA rebrands climate change “extreme weather,” a swath of Montana the size of New York City burns.
New Orleans floods and a billing dispute stalls the delivery of oxygen in India. Sixty children die.
Sixty children die and Kenya picks up the “tampered election” mantle despite a million-vote lead; violence reigns in the streets.
No violence in Austin, though, as Texas’ devious antiabortion laws jump one more bureaucratic hurdle toward the imminent passage of the Rape Tax. No protests about forcing women who get pregnant after sexual assault to pay for abortion procedures out of pocket, should they lack the foresight to purchase abortion coverage in advance.
Unfortunate female Texans further abandoned while at Google, a hateful memo circulates among the populace, once again firing up the debate whether women were just “born” unanalytical. Women in every profession feel attacked.
In other news, what did I do this weekend?
I made pluot apple pie and honey-orange-mint-thyme ice cream. I watered the lawn. I watched the local news. I drank too much. I slept in. All the while in a state of permanent disquiet, reminiscent of the feeling a child gets listening to her parents argue in the next room. That helplessness, that fear of pending doom. That sense that it’s all your fault, even as you lack the understanding of the cause of it all.
So let’s Ricochet opinions on Facebook. Retweet Patton Oswald on Twitter. Watch Steven Colbert do the heavy lifting. Hope Trump is watching. Stomp our feet to the rhythm of the military two-step. Wait for Armageddon, or planning our kids’ next birthday parties.
What did the court jester do this weekend? Retreated to the golf courses of New Jersey. Watched a Russian spy plane buzz overhead. Planned to return to the gilded castle on Fifth Avenue, snarling traffic and delighting Midwestern tourists.
There is nothing in the world to which we humans won’t adapt.
We’re hardwired this way and it will be our downfall.
The orange mint was home grown, and the ice cream was delicious.